Logic and Reasoning

This blog is a separate, more personal blog connected to my "daddyseahorses" blog. I use that one for artwork and updates on school or art in general and this one is dedicated to personal rants and updates. This blog will be more diverse and before I had always had to resign in with my different email just to get my "Secrets Corsets Tell" blog, which is where the connection in the layout comes into play. There is one thing I would like to talk about in this journal entry and that is actually a rant I have been meaning to explain.

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First off, I just want to say that I have gotten over any and all disputes or grudges towards a certain someone. This person, in truth, use to be a friend of mine, however, the reason why we broke up was simply because it felt like I was giving more than she was. I felt like I was being manipulated and always the mature one who had to guide her or hold her hand through grown-up matters such as school, grades, jobs, and everyday common sense. I cared for her dearly but it was time for me to move on, because I realized, I don't need people like that in my life.

I will paint a picture for you.

She would tell me stuff that seemed hypocritical at times. She once told me that she knows she can draw in class and also pay attention, that her mind could only stay focus on one thing at a time. However, she would still draw in class. Sometimes I felt like just because she saw me grab out my sketchbook in class, she felt liberated to do the same. However, she and I are two different people and unlike her, I am able to multitask my ears and eyes towards different things. Sometimes I need a visual in class to focus on in order to allow my ears wander to something else. It helps me concentrate. I can't always write notes from the book and listen to the teacher at the same time because my thoughts could never be open to two groups of information at the same time. I'd mess up and write down what the teacher says right in the middle of my notes in the book, and usually, we're not on the same page.

Another thing that she did was act as if school wasn't that important and that failing was no big deal. I kept trying to tell her to pass and sometimes she wouldn't understand the information the teacher gives as guidance. We once had a Speech class together in community college and the teacher gave us a "Menu" of assignments we could pick and choose what we wanted to do. There was an optional section which meant we had the liberty to pick and choose what on that list we wanted to do but had to have a minimum of four assignments finished and turned in for a grade. She thought that meant we didn't have to do it , that it was optional to do, and she only did one of them. I made a 98 in the class and she failed it. I could tell that she thought if she added more visual aids to her work like dressing up for a presentation, it would give her more points. To be honest, I thought that as just a rouse so she could dress up in something gothic or Wiccan-like. I could tell that adding all of that extra clothing on, helped her become late most of the time.

Speaking of being late, she acted as getting there on time was no big rush. That she could drive casually after waking up late and get there on time, but she never calculated the distance and time. I always plan out how far I need to go and by how long it takes me to get there as well as factoring in the traffic during the mornings. I was just appalled by her lack of commitment to a college career and it felt like she never cared. That college was just a side project she was working on when really it should have been more important than the nude, demonic or anthropomorphic characters she was so hooked on drawing. She seemed immature most of the time.

Her artwork was somewhat garish. It had no real constructive foundation for anatomy or proportions and most of the time, it looked like she copied from other artists and I have found the artists she has copied from. I also thought that her work was a little too risqué. There is a limit to how far art can go before it reaches a certain degree of porn and if she doesn't understand why I see it as a porn, then she obviously think that porn itself is art as well when really it isn't viewed as art within society because of who should or should not view it. If it was art, then it would be honored to be in a gallery to the public, but even certain things are considered too mature for public view, especially in cases of children present. She seemed to not care about anyone else's well being but her own. That nothing else mattered but what she wanted to do and that it pleased her when in some degree, when you post artwork online you are asking to have it viewed artistically and given some form of critique whether people admire it or not.

Don't act like just because they dislike it that they are bad people. That's an immature mindset. No one is going to take you seriously as at true artist if you can't handle everyone form of view out there and understand that not everyone is going to like it or that their view is only there to help you improve and grow as an artist or to find that underline concept that art should have. It can't just be about doodles you feel like drawing simply because you enjoy the content. Art is more than that and if you lack that concept behind the world it is going to come off as cliche or unartistic and at times close to porn because there is no meaning behind it other than "you are a sick pervert who likes twisted things."

She obviously could not learn how to agree to disagree or how to respect and understand the differences in others verses herself. It seemed like, towards her religious views as a Wiccan, she wasn't being true to the Wiccan ways. If she were a true Wiccan, she would understand that not everyone is going to agree with her, that there are going to be differences, and that those differences may end up forming barriers. However, she should be the better person and rather than ranting constantly about the people who have put her down, but take a different mindset by understanding that, they don't understand her and her beliefs and that she should let them know what it is she believes because the term Wicca has been viewed as a negative religion because people ignorantly believe that Wiccans believe in Satan, worship him and magic, and are always going to let their grudges control their ties with others and that those people will suffer a fate far worst than death. She should be the good Wiccan here and make herself and the religion not look bad by not portraying the same attributes her haters expect from her. She should be open, respectful, and understanding towards those who don't understand. Rather than bashing them on the internet for putting her down and making it seem all about her, she should teach them what it is she believes by making sure their ignorance doesn't control them like her grudges don't control her. There are always going to be the good and bad forces in any religion that set examples, so she she should set her own for her religion's sake.

And at times, she is no better than they are when she starts bashing their religion for being what it is like they do to her. Two wrongs don't make a right. You can't continue this war of hate and differences to control your relationship with others. You should hate Christians simply because you had bad experiences with your family and you shouldn't see all Christians as bad people or people who just want to throw their religion down your throat and then shun you if you don't agree with them. I have plenty of Christian friends and rather than hating on one another who have differences, we engage in philosophical discussions about religion and viewpoints, like the Greeks originally sought in doing. They believed in God and yet also questioned him through philosophical discussions and although there were differences, they did not hate one another, they instead used it as a means to gain wisdom from others as well as engage in what they love to do, to learn, to respect, to be open-minded and understanding. So if you want the hate to stop, do it yourself and stop hating on people who weren't the ones who tried to control how you believe and think. It isn't their fault your family set you up to have these views against their faith and for you to rebel against it and find your own. In fact, all you are doing is spreading the hate and mimicking what they did to you. Is the hypocrisy in you so hard to overcome?

Furthermore, don't question or bash other people's religions simply because you don't understanding and base your facts on the religion with copy and paste passages from other sites to back up your claims. More than likely, your facts are just you agreeing with them rather than they making sense to the topic you are trying to address. It's poor researching skills and in a class, would fail you on your assignment. Make sure it combines well with what you are trying to say otherwise all it does is make you look ignorant and stupid and if you want to make a point, especially to really hurt someone else with cheap shots, then do it correctly, with good grammar, good sentence structure, and a true, logical concept behind it rather than just hateful and negative emotions. Paragraphs in essays consist of a minimum of 5 sentences, I don't care how you were taught, it was wrong in formal writings. In a book, you are free to write however you want but in an essay, understand that you need an intro, body of three sentences or more, and a conclusion to sum it up. Each paragraph has the same format but each paragraph as a different topic to discuss. Consider it the next time you are in class.

The picture is drawn.

I have explained in depth all of the small details that I could not stand within this certain person and felt like most of the time talking to a wall. With all of that said, I just want to say the finish product is me getting over it. Me putting it in the files of old drawings and using it as a portion of my history that I have experienced and can learn from and use as guidance on how to better myself or how to view others correctly and with a great deal of respect and understanding. I learn most of my views from the negative people I am around and what not to be like. And she was one of them. I said if she ever matured and got over all of these immature mindsets and attitudes, that I would accept her again as a friend. However, I don't think that will happen anytime soon, mainly because it has been almost been two years since I have even seen her and thankfully, I have been more at ease without all of her bullshit in my life.

I still check back every now and then to see how she has changed, if any changes have been made, and although I still have that human being instinct to care and be respectful to her troubles and issues, I am still not going to be the person who makes the first move. That's all I have ever done with her. Make the first move to do something whether to go out and eat somewhere, to go to the mall, see a movie, go to each's houses and draw and watch TV, and not once did it seem like she did the same favor to me. Not to mention she had the weirdest mindsets about going to do something at restaurants and businesses and saying it was okay to loiter. Those businesses are there to make money. If you don't contribute then they charge you for the water or the chips and salsa. If it has free wifi and is open to allowing people to just sit and enjoy themselves, then that is the place to go to just loiter, but restaurants like Jinbeh, will expect you to buy something. And in truth, with your own money. I can't always be there to pay for you when you decide at the last minute to tell me you have no money to spend at all or you are saving 17 dollars in your account so you don't go in debt.

Well, to be honest, I don't care if you have money or not. If you want to go out with me for old times, pay for yourself with your own money no matter how much you have. Otherwise, don't make plans with me if you know you have nothing spend for yourself. This was one of the things I thought you were manipulating me with. You see something you want and you whine about not having the money for it and then thinking I was push-over I was, I am suckered into buying it for you because I am a good person. I came to a point where saying no, was a blessing, and avoiding you was a Godsend. I felt as if being around you was just more work than needed and it was mainly because you gave nothing in return as a friend and you never once treated me like a friend, just that artist friend with a car and money to drive you around and pay for you at places you agree to go to without even mentioning you have money. And I could tell if I was going out to do something, you gave me money but still why would I leave and come back just for you? Do you think I am that loyal to where I would get us food and come back simply because I have your change? What if I don't come back? I just stole from you didn't I? I could have said, oh, I thought you had also paid me back for part of that $76 dollar check at Jinbeh. Also, when I get you something like at Taco Bell, it is always the most expensive thing on the menu. I am not fucking made of money. I could have said, two items and a drink under 3 bucks. I could have also said, new driving around rule: First drive of the month is free, all the rest cost gas money. 10 bucks to ride bitch. I should have, but didn't.

So with that said, If you ever read this. It is not me ranting against you with any ill will or negativity, but as a mature adult, I expect you at least understand where I am coming from and show some humility that I had legitimate reasons for dumping you as a friend. And that you will consider changing your ways to be a better person without any ill will towards others or negative grudges them simply because ether steer you wrong. Humanity does not work that way. You might as well call yourself a Satanist if you act that way, because people who seek revenge, ill will, and hate towards others are no better than the Devil, himself, and the people out there who make their own religions look bad because of how wrong they are in choosing ignorance and pride over friendship and love.