In a Nutshell

It's been a long time since I posted on this blogger site so I am going to sum up my life right now in a nutshell.

First off, I have been taking some summer classes in Sociology, which I have decided as my major. I have been enjoying Sociology a lot and learned a lot from just the three classes I have already taken. Now I am taking two more in the fall as well as my next New Media Art course that I desperately need.

I didn't get to do much over the summer break, break wise, but I did get to do some fanart, fanficiton, catch up with an old acquaintance from high school which is now one my best friends thanks to the KevEdd fandom. We have been texting up a storm and on tumblr a lot. I even got to go swimming at her boyfriend's family's house and see her four, adorable kids. I was not sure I would be able to handle children well, but two of them seemed to get surprisingly attached to me and I honestly, just wanted to huggle them to death. I squirted one with a water gun, he seemed to enjoy that. lol

I am getting into the groove of artwork but not by much. I am trying to do more digital work but I am so lazy with it. I am working various things as well as fan fiction. I have been trying to do more artwork to post but Minecraft and life seem to get in the way. I don't have a lot of free time even during a break thanks to my parents always hassling me to do stuff. I am hoping, very soon, that I can get a part-time job and try and earn some money to move out. Hopefully, that will happen but I can't promise anything. I am not a fortune-teller.

No luck in the dating department but I have been rekindling some old friendships and seeing some friends I haven't seen in over a year or so. With Jade, more like, eight or so years. Lol. There are two friends right now I am really not fond of right now and I have been trying my best to avoid them so I am not stuck gripping and being annoyed by them after seeing them. I'll break this down for the mass to understand.

Friend 1 = A
Friend 2 = B

A1) Every time i am with this friend, she is critical and judgment of my artwork and others. I have about had it with her negative opinions and narcissistic dribble.

A2) She has made no effort to try and contact me, but not because she understands or has noticed that I am annoyed with her. In fact, I don't think she ever will notice much about her friends other than it involving her in an blunt context where they literally tell her to face they have an issue with her, then she has the need to fight back because she doesn't understand why they are angry. This is because she is oblivious and not very self-observant of the world and of the people around her. She is always in her own little world and doesn't really care to involve anyone else if it isn't to her liking.

A3) She makes up shit about herself because honestly, I don't see it. She says she has ADHD, but I don't see. She says, "I dropped out of school because I can't focus." I just think, "Everyone does that, it is called being bored." And then she can spend hours on end during the night on the computer drawing or on tumblr all the time. She can focus, she just doesn't it think she can when it comes to something she is not interested in. Which is normal for everyone. Everyone gets like that, especially with school. Even geniuses in school get bored, it is called not being challenged enough, so they get bored and even though they do the work well, they can't focus during class because it isn't invigorating for them. Same goes for someone who isn't into it as they would another class. It is called, being human. We are all like that, so shut up about it.

A4) She acts as if I am not even there most of the time. Whether with B or when I come over to her house, she just goes about her business as if I am not even there and I have to yell at her to notice me or to look at something I want to share with her. She ignores me and doesn't acknowledge me half the time.

A5) She at the last minute, feels the need to invite B with us so we can all hang out. I don't like last minute plans and I have decided against them. I need some notice. Don't just ignorantly and rudely invite someone else into our plans without even asking me first. You texted them to join us without asking me first and I thought that was rude beyond belief. Then when they are together, I am the third wheel in the group. I feel ignored and the odd man out who doesn't understand their conversations and when I try to engage in it, they think I am stupid and laugh at me for not understanding. Makes me want to never be in the same room with either of them at the same time.

A6) Has the biggest attitude when it comes to my liking yaoi, yuri, or porn. She doesn't understand why I am interested in such hardcore stuff simply because she is not sexually driven or interested in something beyond the soft core stuff. She acts as if sex in relationships doesn't happen, that people who have sex one way or in various ways does not exist. She doesn't understand why people are sexually active or have fetishism, or why they masturbate, or why they are interested in sex. It is beyond her logic so she literally has to have an attitude towards it in the most ignorant way possible, believing that it doesn't want to exist and telling her friends, such as me, to tag my shit so she can block it. Bitch, I am not posting it for your sake, so shut the fuck up. Just accept that people like it. Actually the majority of society does it. Just because you are the .001% who doesn't, does not mean you can control why people think that way or ignore that it exists.

Everyone masturbates at one time or another, some do it religiously or more than 3-6 times a week. Who cares? Just accept that it exists and moves on but don't' put your opinions on someone else's livelihood. Don't judge them simply because they are different and happen to engage in stuff you, yourself, can't be open to. I masturbate, I enjoy sex, I enjoy yaoi and yuri, hentai and porn gets ridiculous yes, but I still enjoy some. I am open about my sexuality and I am happy with how I am. I have a healthy lifestyle.

No wonder you are so critical and fussy all the time, you have no release for that stress because you are so childish mentally that you have accepted that you will never take part in something as adult-rated as having a serious relationship and engaging in sex with your partner. You told me once, you were fine with having a long-distance relationship over a close one, which is highly unlikely of happening. You have accepted being alone forever and celibate for eternity simply because you are afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone and beyond your logic of thinking. You are not a physical person, I get that, but that doesn't mean you should force yourself to remain that way forever. Grow up and accept life to the fullest, otherwise, what is the point of living.

B1) It is always about B. Whatever B wants to talk about or has an issue with, that is all B wants to talk about and doesn't want to have a conservation with us both that we can all engage in it. It is always what is going on in his life whether or good or bad (mostly bad by his perspective), and never is considerate of talking with his friends about something we can all engage in equally.

B2)Bringing a doll with him in public? How immature is that! What is he, 7? Pretty much. All he cares about is what he wants and if he can't get it at that moment in time, he feels depressed or unwanted. That he feels like life doesn't matter if he can't have this one doll for his birthday. If he can't have it, he wants to talk all day while hanging out with his friends about it like he is trying to guilt trip us into getting it for him even if he says we don't want to get it for him. He tries to gain sympathy from others because his life is crap or has been crap for various reasons.

B3) Another critical soul who just has to laugh at anything and everything if it goes against what he believes in. Putting other people down without having facts or justifiable cause. Just his own opinion. How do you expect to gain equality for who you want to be, if you aren't willing to accept those for who they are? I just understand that. I have met more transponders who are practically just wanting the change because it is the norm within their social groups or they find it cool. I am not seeing much mental stability behind what it is they wish to become and then in the long run put other people down for who they are or how they think simply because they have some trouble understanding or being able to meet half way. Why are you putting other people down or correcting them when you expect them to accept you in the long run? What's the point of that?

B4)Is completely childish in lifestyle with a messy room, house, apartment. You have always been messy and completely oblivious to what you call "man's lifestyle". Most men clean up after themselves and actually have orderly lives. Some have routines and are very clinical and organized. Only certain group or a few are messy. Quit stereotyping what a man is and if you wish to become one, act like it. Stop with the stupid dolls already, the plushies, the girly, immature way you act and dress. You mentally are not a man. Take the test and see if you are mentally a man. There is a difference between actually being trapped in the body of the opposite sex or wishing to become something you are not. I really think you are more the latter. You don't seem like you could handle the change well. I know transponders who have actually went as far as taking T and they actually have the lifestyle and mindset of a man. They are true transponders, you are just a wannabe. Sorry to say, but that is my observant perspective of you and being around you. You can't just become something you are not, you have to actually be it internally. I doubt you are, but that is just me.

So for now, I am avoiding these two. I don't want to talk to them, see them, spend time with them. I told them: No sleepovers, no drinking, plans must be made 48 hours in advance, and if I have to I will even say. If I spend time with you, actually notice me and acknowledge my being there. Don't judge me or my artwork. If you have something to say, it better be a critique and a way to help better it. Don't just say it sucks or that it is inaccurate and leave it at that. I am not going to ask you for your opinion if you do that. Don't make me the third wheel and don't talk about shit I don't know.

When B brought her doll and I said I was phobic of them, he kept talking about it and having it with him. I seriously felt like driving off the road and into a pillar. I was that phobic of it. Same feeling I get with claustrophobia and amputations. My heart starts racing and I feel trapped and uneasy. I literally feel like I could hyperventilate if I don't get some air or look away. I can't deal with it.

I don't plan on seeing them for a while. I don't want to spend time with them. I can easily dump them a friends at this point with everything they have put me through, by bashing me, hurting me, judging me, ignoring me, not acknowledging me, being inconsiderate of me, and acting immature and not even there ages. I am not going to be around people like that. I can dump them right now if I want to, but I feel talking it over is best. If it comes up, I will make note of it. If they have an issue with it, then I'll simply say, "I have out grown you. I need more mature friends who understand priorities, know how to respect other others fairly, and are responsible and more self-aware. I have some friends who are mature, responsible, taking their careers seriously, making the most of life, and still laughing and enjoying ridiculous things that don't affect their well-being whatsoever. They know how to balance their obsessions and their responsibilities without letting one overwhelm them. Those are people I like to hang around with. I enjoy those types of people. I need more of those people. If they are unwilling to accept that, then they are not the friends I need in my life. Sad to say, but true. I am pretty sure their parents are disappointed in them as much as I am, for how unwilling they are to change and be more mature and responsible with their lives. To understand the difference between getting on the computer for fun and getting on because it is a job done over the internet or a school class done over the internet. Excuses and what ifs about you and your life are not mature things to do. Bashing others because you don't see eye-to-eye and putting them down simply to justify your knowledge over something are not mature. Ignoring your friends, making them feel inadequate in your presence, and making assumptions about them are not maturity, either.

I say you are immature because you act immature. If you find offense to that, then stop for a minute and understand why I think that way. Don't just say I don't understand or act like I am the enemy because I have something to say against it. Understand where they are coming from first and take a step back and reexamine the situation and your attitudes and responses to it first before coming to a conclusion of opinion. Otherwise, we're done.

Mostly negative post, but it is what has been going on with my life right now. Sad right...boohoo feel sorry for me. I'm going to go cry in a corner over there while eating steak and watching Ghost Adventures, because my life is obviously tragic and horrifying. Note the sarcasm and laugh. *glowing LAUGH sign appears*

Hello Again!

Been a while. I guess I should update this blog as well.

I have been super busy with artwork, school, summer school, fan fiction, writing, tumblr, kevedd fandom. Just busy overall. I have been having a few minor tiffs with a few friends and I am getting tired of them.

On one hand, they are immature. They get on me for calling them that that you can't define a certain action or characteristic of a person and call it immature. However, I am just disappointed in their lack of maturity. That they are not responsible, self-aware, or take priorities seriously. That is what I mean when I consider them immature. I am tired of always having to be the adult in the room when they are around. They are always complaining about themselves or other people and I am sick of it. They find any good opportunity to badmouth random strangers they just met without first getting to know them. They are critical and judgmental and don't know how to control their potty-mouths. They are still living like they are 8-years-old. Only caring about cosplay, anime conventions, stupid anime, and not trying to be adults. One in particular, refuses to accept that sex is a part of life, part of relationships and does happen. That just because someone is interested in it, does not make them perverted or a bad person like they seem to think so. That they are too good and pure because they haven't fucked up or gotten fucked yet. It is fine to be celibate if that is your preference but don't assume that sex isn't out there and is probably a part of a good foundation for a relationship. Real or in anime. You may like the cutesy side to relationships but odds are, if they are canon or fandom, sex is there. So don't think that it isn't. You act like sex is gross, people who like sex or are into hardcore stuff are bad people or wrong for liking what they like. I say, get over it. Your lifestyle and opinions don't affect the preferences of others, so don't act all high and mighty like you are judging them for liking something you don't understand or don't particularly like.

I like sex, I like hardcore yaoi, shota, loli whatever. I am hardcore into it and I look it up and porn constantly. I am an active person who enjoys the pleasure that comes with sex and the romance of wanting to be with someone in all ways. I like it when it takes couples in yaoi manga a while till they accept one another in that way and engage in sex when they are ready or they truly feel like they love each other. It isn't sex at that point, it is making love. Something you will never understand because you think love is just about hugs, sunshine, and friendship. It has many shapes and forms, passionately and physically are a few others as well.

Another thing, I don't like how you are so critical of other people's art. It is fine if it is your style of choice but for others it is. Especially yaoi manga writers, they have a style and they are getting money for it. What about you? Can you honestly say your style could make it big and become great sellers? Who cares if the anatomy is off by a hair? It should not change your opinion of the story. Quit laughing at the artwork because you find flaws in everyone but yourself. You have no room to judge. They understand more realistic ideals in artwork, but lack the fundamental skill for making it proportionate. However, if they improve, then good for them. They understand they have along way to go and with each new manga or story they create, it gets better.

You do realize that most manga-ka have a team helping them draw and outline their work? That it is a process that many different artists are part of. There is the writer/artist then there is team of artists next to them helping them with certain areas that they may not understand how to do themselves. Then there are the editors who edit their rough drafts and help them with the text style. The entire manga is draw before the text is even added in. So don't blame the artist for something that might be a group effort. Not everyone understands photoshop and furthermore, who cares if the anatomy is off? So is Luffy's. His arms can extend miles because it is his power. But do you laugh at him for what he can do despite the plot? Don't judge something before first understanding it. That is ignorant and immature.

I keep ranting over and over about this, but it just really gets to me that you can stoop this low without showing a shred of humility. I need a serious break from you. I am already deciding not to see you for your birthday this month and yes part of my excuse is because I have an online class to handle. Also don't ask me to do shit with you simply because the idea comes up. I probably will say no. Besides, do you even care what goes on in my life? You never seem interested. I sit there and listen to you, eyes straight on you listening to the words coming out of your mouth but if I can't generate the same level of energy with you or tell a story right, you look away and do something else like you are bored. Really? So what I say bores you? And when I try to get your attention, you just sit there and ignore me like my presence has no meaning in your life. Some friend you are. Act like you care. Stop being so blunt all the time and so evasive. Stop judging me because of your opinions, stop treating me like I'm the immature one. Stop making it seem like no else around you matters. GROW. THE. FUCK. UP! This is why I call you immature. You don't act like an adult let alone a friend worthy of my attention. I always have reasons for why I dump my friends. Don't make me dump you like I did some of my other friends. I don't need this bullshit so grow up and stop acting like a little brat. You act as if you'll have panic attack simply because you are afraid to shine in public, afraid to go above and beyond in life, afraid to fuck up for once and that it will ruin your entire life if you do. Seriously. Just stop already.

I am going to go back to drawing, playing mine craft, reading my online textbook, drink some water, and continue to ignore you. Until you grow up, don't call me until then.

Just Stop....

You know what I don't like?

Being told what to do.

Especially based on your wishes.

Do not request me to do shit for you as a favor when I personally have no need to do it in the first place.

You wanted me to be tag shit on tumblr so you can have means to block it? Fuck that shit. I am not tagging anything based on your wishes of what I do with my tumblr page. If you don't like to see it on the dashboard, then tough. Not my problem. Take it or leave it. Just scroll pass it if you don't like it. But don't ask me to fucking do shit for you simply because you are aren't into the same things I am into.

First of all, it is hard enough talking to you about anything mature related because you have no interest in it. To be honest, face it, it is part of life. People have sex, enjoy it, may face mental and emotional trauma along the way, but that's just how it is. Sex isn't for everyone and everyone has certain degrees they can tolerate with it, some more than others, and some can sit here, looking at it, comment on it, but still watch it because oh wait that's right, it turns them on. It stimulates their interests and makes them want to masturbate to it or gets them in the mood to have sex. It is just how they are. They are in a different level than you because you prefer not to understand why so many people give into their human nature and want to fuck around. But do not judge them based on your preferences. Do not say that it is nasty and you don't want to hear it. That right there in itself is immature. You ignore the possibilities, don't understand the other person's side, because you don't want to. You want to avoid the subject and stay pure to your own close-minded views on the subject. Fetishes, sex, and masturbation are always going to be a part of life and the internet. If you can't deal with it, then don't go on sites that support or allow it. One being, tumblr. Don't watch people who post it based on their preference, even if they are your friends.

If you don't like what I post, then unwatch me, because the last thing I am doing is tagging something so you can avoid it based on your preferences. Take it or leave it. Can't deal with it? Then don't bother with it. Just face the fact, I am interested in sex, masturbation, yaoi, hentai, smut whatever. I give into my sins because I am human and enjoy it. It give she pleasure and fills me with wonder and excitement. The curiosity factor is always there. I enjoy it, unlike you. I have an active sex drive, one that at times gets out of hand. I am probably not the only one. If you don't want to hear it, then don't ask me about my relationships with others in that way. If you can't bear it, then don't sit there judging people based on their preferences with your own. If it dissatisfies you, then that is your choice, but keep it to yourself. No one wants to hear you complaining about it and why you hate it, why you can't stand it, why it irks you to the bone. Just accept that it is out of your hands and move on, get around it, avoid it, ignore it. Do whatever you can to get away form it, but don't judge. Don't judge the people who do like it, who do do it, and why they think the way they do apart from yourself. That is self-absorption: absorbed into your own thoughts and interests, without accepting or understanding the thoughts and interests of others.

I know I have no right to tell a friend how they should live their life, but it bugs me every time the topic comes up and you get all bitchy and grossed-out about it. I don't want to hear grossed out noises from you and you being bitchy about it and telling me to shut up because you don't wanna hear it. I am cautious about what I say to you, I can't be open with you, because you are unable to be open with me. As a friend, it hurts when I can't tell one of my best-friends some personal secrets every now and then without them being offended by it because they are at a different level than I am. Personally, this is why I kept one of my ex-friends around, they were actually open enough to talk about it and participate with it openly without the need to judge or actively turn down their friends own sake of living based on their own preferences. It feels like you are judging me and ridiculing me for thinking and feeling differently than you, because I am interested in something and you're not. It is like you belittle me simply because I happen to enjoy sexual desires. It hurts. It makes me feel like you don't accept me fully as a person let alone a friend.

Do something...

So, I was talking with a friend. I was suggesting ways he and his friends can make their youtube channel more popular. And he just seemed like a difficult son of the bitch about everything I was suggesting.

First off, I am suggesting ways you can promote your group channel to get more popular and yet you seem bent on not wanting to do anything about it. I even talked about this with our friend about "if you want something, you have to basically do something about it yourself" but you don't seem to care. You honestly don't seem like paying a few bucks to get the recording equipment you need to mess with other games other than minecraft and to make your recordings more high-def and enjoyable.

Secondly, you have a job now. Granted, I know very little about it because we kind of fell out after a misunderstanding. But that does not mean you can't spend some money on stuff you talk about needing in order to do some things. So don't complain about why you are unable to do something when you aren't even willing to do it in the first place or strive to take action towards getting what you want. No ambition. None.

Third, who cares if some games are online or computer games and that you only have a console. That has nothing to do with it. You don't need to stick to just console games because that is all you have. You can branch out some and do other things especially if they are online and you are able to do them with friends like you are doing now with Minecraft. There is no difference between console and computer games other than the media you are using. The game is the same, just modified to fit the preferences of the game itself and the changes with the settings and buttons. If it is a few bucks for Minecraft, then it is obviously going to be a few bucks for anything else.

Seriously, I glad I am able to see you in a different light, one that isn't just humor and fun, but ignorance, difficulty, and rudeness. You really need to work on your people skills. You can be rude at times, ignoring friends, focused on immature things and yourself more than them, angry for the littlest things, and distant when your friends need you the most. You need to shape your attitude up otherwise the people around you may talk about you behind your back and treat you just as unfairly or you can wind up hurting them for mistreating them.

To be honest, I really thought you would look pass our whole misunderstanding and mature about it after a year. That you would show some initiative to talk to me at times, consider my side of the story or my feelings, and act as if nothing happened. I gave you time to get over it. I don't like things being awkward between us or the fact that I am having to do all of the work in order to keep our friendship. If you can ignore and ditch a friend so easily, then maybe you never truly cared about them in the first place. And to be honest, I am kind of glad I got out of that relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend. If you act this way as a friend, who knows what kind of asshole you are as a boyfriend. To be honest, it was all about you and your needs and wants rather than understanding the girl's side. To know how to act and understand the person without needing to ask so many questions. There is no need to be held by the hand and taught every little thing about the person you are dating. I am not your mother, I am not your teacher. I am your friend. I can give advice, I can help you out when you need help which I have done multiple times more than I can count, but I shouldn't have to be the guardian or mature person at every turn.

If you want to know why I dumped you, it was because you were too immature, too clueless, too irresponsible, and more like a child and a brother than a boyfriend. I would much rather have a guy who is responsible, mature, and understands and knows things before getting into it. Not just and emotional personal acting on his feelings 24/7 and forcing someone to do stuff they are uncomfortable with doing. Also, and I have told your sister this, you need a bath. Your BO was atrocious and she understood where I was coming from. Sitting next to you was almost like needing to wear a gas mask. Also, you talked about getting physical but you never took any action to get condoms. You also need those at times for blow jobs dude. Even if you are clean, you still need them. And showering before sex is good for you as well as well as afterwards. I have been talking with a guy friend now and he knows a lot about sex, more than me. He is also more interested in getting a vasectomy, which is completely reversible if he changes his mind later. He also knows about safety and putting a girl just as much as into the equation as himself. He is mature, intelligent, and down-to-earth. He can be silly at times but he is makes up for it and knowing people and understanding the world around him. He isn't just interested in himself and his needs or blowing away his life on games and TV. He enjoys physical health, working his ass off with either his own business and such, physical activities, and creating his own mechanical gizmos in quantum mechanics and physics. He shows himself in more ways than one and makes conversations interesting. Not just entertaining others with games and laughter. I am not saying you need to be someone completely different, but work on your attitude and character a little bit. The more you treat me this way, the more I think of you as rude and conceited who doesn't put enough effort into his friends and considering them before yourself.

Weeeee! Birthday Week!

Been busy busy busy busy and happy, which is a first and plus for a while. I still get upset when I think of Popeye but so far, I am good.

My birthday is this Thursday. I will be 25. Yes, I am 1/4 of a century year old. Call me old, call me ancient, call me 20th Century Granny! I don't care. I have been feeling the effects of age namely bad back, more allergies and worries about getting old but not so much decrepit and useless. A little useless but I am fine.

I have been doing well in school and thankful have no class this Friday which means I can go home Thursday for my birthday and go out to eat with my parents. I am not sure where to go out to eat but I want both of my parents to be happy about where we go and not feel upset or disgusted with the food. So I will look up places and consult with them when I get home Thursday about it.

As far as presents go, I have quite a bit on my mind but not sure if my parents will go for buying it for me. A cake, a dinner, and money is fine. Or mom said she would take me out for shopping because I need new bras. I am actually bigger than I have led myself on to believe all these years. I need new shoes, socks, and maybe I can talk her into a few shirts or clothes while I am at it. xD Lol I already got a check in the mail from my Grandmother Betty which was sweet of her. I am going to write her a thank-you letter and deposit it this weekend. I am kind of hoping a get a little bit more but I am not bent on draining my parents dry. They do so much for me already.

I think I will do a Birthday Image for myself. It has been ages since I have done one and I am in a real artistic mood lately. I have already done a few images for my story, I drew a Tiger and Bunny image that I did for V-day but it's long pass due for that I still like the image, just questionable on the anatomy. I have created two new characters, hero-related. I am still developing backstories. They are not superpower heroes though, just regular vigilantes who felt like they could do something in the world. They are step-siblings who like each other but remain friends, yet the are obvious with how much they care for one another, and willing to go out of their way for one another. I was on a Hero Character Game where you can make you down hero character with their factory, and I was like....well this is fun. xD Lol

Anyhoo, I have been artistic and out of my depression slump. I kept a journal about any down-like mood I had last week when I was depressed over Popeye, turning older, and kind of alone with not many people to really connect with. But Tiger & Bunny dubbed episodes brought me out of the slump a little and I realized...that show is basically the only thing right now giving me any joy in life. I love Tiger so much. I was on a bend of wanting everything Tiger & Bunny, especially the plushies, pillows, wall scrolls, reading yaoi Doujins, checking up for the new dubbed episodes, and such. And then I started to watch Sabrina The Animated Series and got back into Batman Beyond and now I am preoccupied with making sure I don't get depressed. I am living now....lazily...but still.

So, it is getting late, gotta get up early, weirdly craving pizza again. I had a friend visit me last Sunday and I showed him around the campus and took him to Crooked Crust. He enjoyed it and really admired the campus. I like being open with him and spending time with him. He's super intelligent with quantum physics, mechanics, science, math....ugh how does he do it!?! He is already 26, and he has owned his own golf course that he built from the ground up. Sometimes I forget half the stuff he says because it is just way up there pass my own intelligence in those fields but I find it so fascinating.

G+ is Stupid

Why can't companies stop buying out other companies or websites? I want Google to remain Google and Blogger to remain Blogger or YouTube to remain YouTube. There is no sense connecting them to one another and transferring data from one site to the next. I want to work on a site with its own features and provided information, not transfer information from one to the other. I like to keep somethings separate and private from one another. You don't see me transferring all of my private settings and features on FaceBook directly to another site that is more public now do you? No. So let's keep it that way.

G+ was a failed attempt from the start. I don't see why they feel the need to compete with Facebook with stupid "unique" features that Facebook might not have. I don't like G+ and on both gmail accounts I have, I deleted my G+ accounts and their features. Good thing it won't delete everything I have on YouTube and Blogger. But now on YouTube, don't you have to have a gmail account to even sign into a YouTube? That's stupid. Really stupid. I could go on and on about how much I hate G+ but what is the point? Oh right, there is no point when concerning G+....

Moderate Forms of Depression?

Since I lost my cat Popeye, the love of my life, I have not been able to recover easily. I am still in hopes of finding him or him returning home but it depresses me and makes me break down at times thinking about him. So I am concerned for my psychological state. I fear I may have a form of slight-moderate Depression. I did a test online, which is not an accurate medical test, but from the questions these are my results.

Here are some of the things mentioned in detail. I have never heard of some of these before.

Major Depression

Major depression is a mental health disorder which causes prolonged feelings of despair, worthlessness, irritability, and fatigue (see a more complete set of depression symptoms below). Major depression can strike at any age, although it is most common in young adulthood. Both men and women can experience major depression, however the disorder is more common in women.

Depression is sometimes called the "common cold" of mental health, because it is so common--nearly 10% of the population suffers from a depressive illness in any given year, according to NIMH. It is the leading cause of disability in the US and worldwide, according to the WHO. And though effective treatments exist for depression, many people continue to suffer in silence.

Symptoms of Major Depression

• Despair and hopelessness
• Little motivation to complete even simple tasks
• Thoughts or attempts of suicide
• Low self-esteem and self-confidence
• Low energy levels, tired and run-down
• Trouble falling asleep, nightmares, waking and can't fall back asleep
• Daily life is severely affected
• Loss of sex drive
• Loss of appetite
• Loss of interest in formerly pleasurable activities
• Symptoms last longer than two months

Dysthymia

Dysthymia, or dysthymic disorder, is a clinical diagnosis of moderate, persistent depression. Sufferers do not routinely experience the extremes of major depression, but the duration can be much longer. Dysthymia does not often inhibit normal activities.

The depression experienced in dysthymia sufferers tends appear almost as a personality trait. They tend to be self-critical and negative, with low self-esteem. Many dysthymics are unable to recall the last time they felt happy. According to UCSF an estimated 6% of the population will experience dysthymic disorder in their lifetimes.

Symptoms of Dysthymia

• Long-term depression, sadness, anxiety
• Fatigue, difficulty falling asleep or waking and not being able to fall back asleep
• Problems with memory or concentration
• Low self-esteem, guilt, or negative thinking; self-critical
• Depression seems part of one's personality, gloomy, no joy
• Unable to remember last time one was happy, confident, or inspired
• Unexpected weight loss or gain, eating problems
• Symptoms present for over two years

Bipolar Disorder

Also known as manic-depressive disorder, bipolar disorder results in dramatic mood swings in the sufferer. This psychological disorder is characterized by perpetual shifts between manic and depressive phases. During the manic phase, one may feel unnaturally confident, energetic, and out of control. The depressive phase shares many symptoms with major depression.

In a given year approximately one percent of the population will experience bipolar disorder, according to NIMH. The disorder often begins in adolescence or young adulthood. Bipolar is the only depressive disorder that is not heavily skewed toward women.

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

Manic Phase

• Little sleep, plenty of energy
• Exaggerated optimism, excessive self-confidence, euphoric mood
• Engaging in wreckless, inappropriate behavior
• Promiscuity, sexual aggression
• Distractible, unable to concentrate, too many ideas
• Abuse of alcohol or drugs
• Increased irritability
• Manic phase lasts at least one week

Cyclothymia

Cyclothymia is a mild form of bipolar disorder. It is characterized by mood fluctuations that shift between depressive and hypomanic phases. Cyclothymics do not experience the extremes of major depression or manic episodes.

The depressive or hypomania symptoms of cyclothymia may last for a few days to several weeks at a time, with brief intervals of normal mood in between. Personality changes are often evident to family and friends. Individuals who have a stable mood for longer than two months at a time are not likely cyclothymic. Symptoms may be mimicked by substance abuse, borderline personality disorder, or other mood disorder. A family history of depressive or bipolar disorders increases the risk.

Symptoms of Cyclothymia

Hypomanic Phase

• Excessive confidence and self-esteem
• Reduced ability to concentrate, easily distracted
• Sleep difficulties, excessive energy
• Heightened irritability
• Reduced inhibitions, may make foolish decisions
• Hypomania lasts between several days and several weeks

Depressive Phase

• Feelings of inadequacy, low self-confidence
• Difficulty falling asleep, unrestful sleep
• Fatigue, lack of energy
• Negative thinking, feelings of guilt and sadness
• Loss of interest in formerly enjoyable activities
• Depression lasting between several days and several weeks

The cycling between phases must be present for at least two years for a diagnosis (one year for teenagers). Work and family life are often negatively affected by the shifting moods.

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is a distinct form of depression triggered by the reduced level of sunlight during the winter months. As its name implies, the disorder is experienced seasonally and clears up with the onset of spring, which may bring about a mild manic phase. Prevalence increases at higher latitudes. SAD is rare within 30 degrees of the equator.

Seasonal Affective Disorder most often occurs in younger people, women in particular. Many people are not even aware of this diagnosis and do not seek treatment. All seems well again when the depression lifts in the spring. However effective treatment exists for SAD, so nobody has to suffer needlessly during the winter months.

Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder

• Excessive sleeping, fatigue
• Eating more, carbohydrate cravings, weight gain
• Avoidance of others, withdrawl
• Depressive symptoms, i.e. low self-esteem, low motivation, sadness
• Decreased sex drive
• Onset in the fall and early winter
• Has occurred in each of the last two years

Postpartum Depression

Mild depressive symptoms are common among women following the birth of a child. However if these feelings are severe, the woman may be suffering from postpartum depression. Postpartum depression is a form of major depression experienced by an estimated one in eight mothers. Effective treatments exist for this condition.

Postpartum depression ranges in severity from mild to severe. Severe cases may be diagnosed as postpartum psychosis, a rare disorder characterized by violent thoughts, delusions, and bizarre thinking. This illness became more well-known as the media followed the Andrea Yates case.

Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

• Fatigue, irregular sleep
• Feelings of low self-worth, guilt, or depression
• Spontaneous crying
• Problems with memory and concentration
• Thoughts of violence
• Lack of interest in the new child
• Delusions or hallucinations
• Symptoms appear one week to six months following a birth

Weird Things About Me

• I have a cowlick at the base of my head, it curls differently then the rest of my hair
• I hate square sliced pizza
• I like a lot of vegetables like Brussels sprouts, asparagus, squash, sweet potato, tomatoes, artichoke, spinach leaves, onions, bell peppers, corn, peas, pickles, lettuce, kale, collard greens, banana peppers, celery, bok choy, argula, avocado, zucchini, broccoli, chickpeas. Anything I have tried except green beans, cucumbers, carrots, and cabbage. 
• I have an allergy to carrots and make-up powder
• I have an astigmatism
• I may have hypoglycemia
• I can pop my thighs when I stretch
• I cannot separate my fingers between the middle and ring finger to make the Spock hand sign. The nerves in my hand and my ring fingers won't let me.
• I have a low blood pressure, always. 
• I love coconut, almonds, cinnamon apples, and spinach alfredo pizza.
• I love the taste of diet coke over regular. I hate Coca-Cola.
• I love Root Beer and Cream Soda. Wish they had a Root Beer 10 though. xD Lol
• I still have a baby tooth, might have extracted soon though...
• I love sauces or condiments that are a creamy peach color. Makes me think of Chipotle sauce and makes me want to buy it. 
• I love Vanilla Hazlenut Lattes/Frappacino's. 
• I prefer Black Tea over Green Tea or Oolong
• My top 5 favorite candies are: Peanut M&M's, Almond Joy/Mounds, Reese's, Kit Kat, and Twix. Otherwise, I hate most sweets.
• I love Dark Chocolate, hate White Chocolate
• I love Swedish snacks/candies
• I love Japanese Snacks/Candies. Hate Ramune
• I hate energy drinks like Venom. 
• I actually enjoy Mello Yello. 
• I have a hard time eating leftovers after they have been in the fridge for more than a day. I think the food went bad.
• I will not eat anything pass the expiration date. It makes me feel like the food won't taste good.
• I hate body hair whether on the legs, pubes, or underarms. I can't stand it. I feel unhygienic if I don't shave.
• I have double-jointed index fingers. 
• I hate bras with wires in them.
• I take shower in the mornings. I feel gross if I don't take one when I start the day off. 
• If I don't shower once a day, my body temperature doesn't react to outside temperatures normally. I will feel hotter than normal or colder than normal if I don't take a shower. 
• I hate Cream of anything soups. I can only eat Tortilla Soup, Clam Chowder, Lobster Bisque, or Chicken and Rice. 
• I can't have Ranch dressing on salads. It tastes awful to me. I can only have Ranch as a condiment like with chicken or hot wings or with buffalo. 
• I love tank tops and lumberjack shirts
• Honestly, I pluck my eyebrows. They get too bushy for me sometimes. 
• Honestly, I have natural pubic hair growth. It's gross! I want laser treatment.
• I am 1/4 Scottish, Irish, Spanish, and English. I don't know what I look like the most. 
• I think I look more like my dad but I have more traits passed down from my mother. 
• I am attracted to Native Americans, Asians, Whites, and Greeks the most. 
• I am obsessed with anything Greek. 
• I have created words on my own without knowing that they were real words or before they became popular slang like: effing rather than F-ing, kk, Okies, DOL (died of laughter), NOGADAM (No One Gives A Damn About Me). 
• I created the name Ovieterle off of the top of my head and it has never been created before. SCORE!
• I am a hipster and I don't care. I don't follow trends as they happen. I will get into the trend or like the trend when I feel like it either before it becomes popular or long afterwards. 
• I have weird dreams most of the time that I sometimes can't remember. 
• I do not eat pork. 
• I love scallops, lobster, shrimp, and crab. I am not a big fan of fish though.
• I am a cheese-a-holic. 
• I hate beer and wine, love mixed drinks. 
• I do not smoke, never will smoke. I hate the smell and can't stand it. 
• I will never do drugs and I actually judge people if they do drugs or not. I support and respect those who have never touched drugs in their life. Not even weed or medical marijuanna. 
• I hate it when my dad thinks I am immature when I cry. I am not immature when I cry, I just have feelings and an edge you just crossed
• I usually hold feelings in before they bottle up inside me and I can't take it anymore.
• I am a sexually active person. I do not go around having sex with anyone though, I just have urges like everyone else and not afraid to admit it. I masturbate like everyone else and don't take kindly to people who think of me as a pervert or that that is a gross habit to make, simply because their preferences differ from mine. 
• I have been with both girls and boys. 
• I have only had sex once with a guy. 

Merry Christmas! Old Draft

3I got quite a few interesting things for X-mas in the past few days. Most I knew about, some I was really surprised for. I did run into some issues like with some jackets not fitting and being too small but for the most part, I got a good selection. I will do a countdown of the things I got with pictures. :3

This is what I got from Uncle David and April last night on Christmas Eve. Every Eve, we exchange gifts between them and us and have a big feast my mom cooks or we get to fix and platters from Subway. I will start with theirs first.

15. Jacket
--- Soft, fuzzy and thick jacket that was too small in the arms and kind of tight in the chest. It fits my mom but there was a draw back of the inside fuzz falling off and sticking to clothes. Mom said even she can't deal with that and although it is a beautiful jacket, I might not either. I may be able to exchange it for either a bigger size or something of equal price.

14. Sketchbooks
--- They got me two beautiful sketchbooks with beautiful covers.

13. Wooden Colored Pencils
--- These colored pencils are designed to look like little trees and they are beautiful! I don't know how to sharpen them but I did play with them a little to see how they work and they are extremely soft to work with.

12. Hoodie Top
--- Soft, light top with a hood on it. Beautiful blue colors that remind me of a Peacock. :3 It is sparkly with little stones on it.

11. Scarf
--- Beautiful white and gold scarf that looked like it matched the jacket I can't wear. xD Lol

10. Recycled Juice Boxed Wallet
--- Heavy duty, pointy, and really colorful wallet/coin purse made from recycled juice boxes. I thought it was cute and interesting. :3

Now for X-mas Gifts from my parents.

9. Panties
--- Yes I asked for some and it was a 3 pack. :3

8. 2 pairs of jeans.
--- Blue and black jeans that I desperately needed. One pair I already had was ripping and too small.

7. Star hoodie top
--- Another soft, light hoodie top that has a baseball sleeves and stars printed on the front and back. See-through so a top underneath is necessary.

6. Two CDs
--- Blockhead The Music Scene and The Little People. I wanted new CDs for my car so I can listen to them. Now, just need to get my Radio fixed in my car. Sigh...

5. Coconut Rocher Chocolates
--- YUM!

4. PJs
--- Star printed PJs top and bottom set by Vera Wang.

3. Flannel Shirt
--- I love Flannel shirts. This one is really pretty!

2. Simply Vera Wang Purple Faux Snakeskin Purse
--- I love this purse. It's big, roomy, has tons of pockets and sections and is beautiful inside and out.

1. iPad
--- That's right! I got an iPad! I thought I was getting a Nook and thought when mom got the Kindle Fire, that she stole my gift and dad messed up and got the wrong tablet. But I am glad mom got a tablet and I got the iPad. The deal was to buy either the Nook or Kindle Fire for me since the iPad was too expensive but dad still bought it for me. I am loving it! I am doing most of my stuff on it right now.

So Christmas was nice, would have been better without my brother because he was so out of it, rude, and obnoxiously fidgety. He would not sit still and when he was sitting still he couldn't stay awake. We skipped him for most of the present portion of the night last night and he was so rude today when he got those minute cards for a phone and called right in the middle of the present portion. You do that afterwards when things are done as far as I am concerned. He ignored us for that phone and the new phone he got. Then he was rude to the people on the phone who were trying to guide him in how to do it and he was just so snotty with the people.

So, he was kind of the humbug of X-mas this year and really didn't deserve anything he got. He holds record for the naughty list.

So, I think he needs to be on his own or in a mental institution. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

So Merry X-mas! I still have Dene's to do next so there may be an update with this journal or a new one. :3

Think Before Doing the Nasty!

Responsible Parent
~Wants the child or has planed for the child they are going to have and have made preparations prior to the starting process of getting one
~Is an adult themselves and can first take care of themselves before they try to take care of the life of another, towards one who can't take care of themselves without assistance
~Is willing to sacrifice their time, needs, and wants for he the time, needs, and wants of another life
~Is compassionate and caring, without being overbearing
~Is willing to express discipline only when the moment requires it.
~Does not complain about the hardships he/she has to go through in order to be a parent and is blessed with the child they have
~Is not neglectful or absent-minded, is self-aware, understanding, and open-minded.

Irresponsible Parent
~Had unprotected sex without the consideration of possibly getting pregnant or mindfully does not want a child at the time and neglected the possibilities before the actions they took.
~The condom broke and did not take actions necessary in order to fix the problem before it became a future lifestyle, one that will force the parent to give up all personal expectations of themselves for the sake of another living being
~Does not want children or has the mindset that children are annoying, obnoxious, creatures and don't deserve the time and effort of the person who is distasteful of them
~Is unwilling to take care of themselves before the sake of another
~Was pressured into having a child without personally wishing to have one and following along with what their partner wants without establishing a mode of mutual understanding towards the right time and place for both parties
~Is thinking about or is possibly considering in the future that their partner is not the one for them and has a child together anyways. Which will either lock the two people together despite dispute and uneasiness or forcing one parent to take on all of the responsibility
~Does not do research prior to actions needed to have a child
~Does not understand how to take care of a child and the biological concerns outside the structure of sexual intercourse
~Is unaware of their surroundings or completely oblivious to common sense.
~Is irritable, judgmental, or overbearing, forcing ones own beliefs on the child without first considering the child's own individuality first.
~Is irresponsible in the sense that they have no prior knowledge or experience in handling the responsibilities needed in order to take on the new lifestyle.

Rants...

I hate being the only one trying save a friendship when the other person is showing no signs of being self-aware of the people around him, being considerate of them and asking how they are for a change, starting the conversation first, or wanting to just talk and hang out. I am always the one having to do something to keep it alive. I am tempted to just shut up and ignore him for a while and then wait and see if he actually cares to respond. It seems like he won't talk to me unless it is about him or something he is into.

I know I have ranted about this before, but it keeps bugging me and it is still going on. I am kind of glad we aren't together anymore as a couple, because I knew this was the type of person he was and he shown no signs of improvement and still hasn't. So it is kind of like I dodge a bullet. I wish I had someone to help me with this and offer some sort of advice, otherwise I may do something drastic and just confront him about it which may stir up negativity and arguing.

------

Being deployed somewhere is not always a sure thing. Even if they say you will be deployed somewhere, you might not even get that far or along that path. So all of your hard work of learning the language and culture would all be for nought. And furthermore, why would you want to go to Korea? Do you know the demographics, the religion (which less than 1.7% is other aside from the main ones of Buddhism, Catholic, and Christianity) which may lead up to there being no Wicca or Pagan stores in your area you may be deported to. There's also the fact that you are a foreigner and despite your studying, people are going to still see you as a foreigner. 99% of the populations are Korean, very few are of another race and if so, they are simply tourists, not people who live there for a certain of years or forever. There's a lot more research involved than you have yet to consider and you shouldn't just walk into a new country without first understanding it all and not just going there because it is some sort of vacation or adventure, it will be a lifestyle whether for a few months, years, or a lifetime. You will have to basically conform to their rules, society, and lifestyle in order to fit in. You can't be the ignorant tourist who just happen to upon on the place and think because you did a little studying, you could get by with ease and that everyone will accept you. You thought the people in America were ignorant and bias, just wait. All nationalities and countries are the same in their own form. They may not understand you or your way of life, your religion, or your poor usage of the language. It takes years before you could master a language, even linguists study for that long. You won't fully understand their way of life or language within a few months to a year, it takes a lot longer than that to fully blend in or to study abroad. It is not child's play or a vacation you are setting your life on, it's a new lifestyle you have to conform to in order to fit in otherwise something may happen that you don't expect and you will be begging to come home. Also watch what you say and don't bash the President whether publicly or on the internet, the government will censor it on the web and you won't be able to view much porn or gay and lesbian supported sites. It may come to pass that some sites you use daily may even be blocked like DA, Blogger, Tumblr, Facebook. It may be a democracy but it is still an asian country where some places may not be suitable for all ages and whatever you draw, which for the mass majority of it is porn and nudity, maybe keep you from really doing much with it or posting it anywhere online. It is not like the freedoms you have now in America. So if you want to face that, then go ahead but you have a much better chance being deported somewhere else like Sweden if that is what you are after.

----

Another one is the fact I hate it when people say they are "Back from the Dead" on their website but they rarely do anything on there like update further for post much of anything. All I have to say is liar liar pants on fire. Don't make promises you can't keep...

Sentimacy is Mine Bitches

Thinking about creating a story with a band called Sentimacy. I said it like a mashed up word of Sentiment and Intimacy and a friend told me sounds like a Band name. Weirdly, it hasn't been taken yet. It's mine now. >3 RIGHTS TO THE FIREFLY LIGHTS!

Great Way to Start the New Year

Great way to start out the new year.

A guy I know from high school found me in December on Facebook. At first, I wasn't sure who this guy was because for the longest time I thought his name was Patrick. Don't ask. And when I realized who it was, I was like, "Okay, I know you. I'll add you as a friend." If I had known he would have been this annoying, I would have just not have cared and ignored him. Sadly, I made the mistake of being nice, yet once again.

This guy has been trying to talk to me nonstop on FaceBook Chat. There are a few things I will explain that make this terrible for me.

1)I hate talking on Facebook Chat. I also hate that it is connected with the PMs. I really like sending longer PMs about overall subject matters and ask people personal questions not necessarily to discuss where the public can see. I don't like to just talk as if it is a messenger. If it is a good friend, I may but then again, all of my good friends have a messenger I am willing to talk with on namely Skype and occasionally Yahoo.

2) I don't know this guy that well. I hate being rude to anyone but it is annoying to have to contacted almost every hour when I am really not on Facebook. It may show that I am online, possibly because the tab is up and running, but that doesn't mean I am always free to talk. He acts as if I am there to talk specifically to him. When we do, he is always sounding a little needy and lonely. I can't even stomach some of the stuff he talks about concerning the past with high school. I really would much rather ignore most of it because a lot of bad happened in high school for me. Not with him, but in general. I am just not comfortable talking with him over FaceBook Chat.

3)He immediately insisted that I look at his profile and copy his number down into my phone. I don't intend on doing that to someone I barely know and have only met a few times. And I won't want to if asked or ordered to. I don't like to be told what to do. If I wanted to add you into my phone, I would on my own. Not by what you want of me to do.

Getting around to my point, he supposedly went to my page and found my phone number, which I don't remember putting on page but I guess I did. And then he wished me a Happy New Year on my phone. I thought that was rude. You didn't ask me if you could put my number into your phone. It isn't there for just anyone to find. I have my profile set to private for a reason and yes, I welcome friends to add me into their phone, but I expect them to ask first. It is rude to just go ahead and add me without asking. I had to ask who's number it was because I haven't had the time or effort to look at yours, but I knew it was within the area so I figured it may be a friend I neglected to add the last time I got a new phone. But it was him. I have nothing against him, but he has been on my nerves lately with contacting me rudely or neglectfully considering the matter at hand. When I say this, I mean commenting on posts he obviously has an issue with (namely a post I posted about a Church who said they accept al people of orientations whether gay, straight, bi as well as transexual and that God welcomes and loves them all). I support the post and after looking at hi profile once I noticed he was a Born-Again Christian who does not support Gay Rights and has an issue with it. Now, personally I feel he is being a little ignorant with his beliefs and not fully a true believer in them because the Christians I have met are tolerant of everyone despite race and orientation or sexual status. They do not judge because they believe God loves everyone, as he should.

So, I have had issue with him for a month now almost and when he contacted me on my phone he was asking me questions I was not comfortable with. Nothing sexual, may I clear those thoughts in the gutter. He was insisting I call him because he doesn't like texting. He uses the speech provider on his Android. Personally, I hate talking on the phone. I rarely make personal calls to anyone. One or two people may be pleasured with a rare chance of talking to me for an hour on the phone but not everyone. I only talk on the phone to call my parents and let them know something or everything is alright, to make calls to the internet service provider or roadside service, a small chat with a friend about getting together but for the most part I text or talk to people electronically in writing. I hate talking on the phone. He then tried to compromise with me to call him once a week. Excuse me? Who are you to decide that for yourself? I just said I am not interesting in talking to you on the phone and you are trying to insist I talk to you regularly every week. I don't have time to do that sir. I have college to consider, artwork to do, family life to consider, other plans, other stuff on my palette. I don't have time to make a schedule phone conversation with you because you want me to. That is inconsiderate and rude to even consider that without considering that maybe we are just not that close to talk that way with or the fact we barely know each other and that I don't want to. I can't put you first simply because texting inconveniences you.

So, I have been having an issue with this guy and been very irritable with him. As irritable as I have been with a girl I know who wants me to talk with her because it convinces her. I am not going to talk to people I have little in common or have an issue with to some degree whether by their actions or how immature their thinking can be. She threaded to defined me if I didn't explain why I was ignoring her. I don't have to explain myself to anyone. It is my choice not to talk to someone just as it is your choice to talk to someone. And you only contacted me because you were in town, no other time. So it only benefited you to talk with me because you thought you were closer to me by distance. If you were a good friend, you would talk to me no matter what, regardless of distance and time. But speaking of which, I can't just talk with you at any chance you want me to. Like I said, I am busy and it is the holidays so double that. I also said that the tab is up and running but that doesn't mean I am available. I like to use FaceBook to check up on close friends and read the hilarious posts George Takei posts because it is like Tumblr only with less obsession and more humor.

So, for 2013, I am going to make a Resolution like no other.

If I feel that I am only a friend to you because it benefits you and you feel like you need someone to talk to, then you are not my friend and will be defined. I will not be used like that or give into requests that I find unreasonable. This is not concerning my close friends who I know are too busy to talk with me most of the time or I can talk regularly with on a messenger. And this does not concern old acquaintances from school like CCA or Creekview that don't bother me over trivial matters and are just on my list as mutual acquaintances who respect one another. One old friend on my list from CCAwas respectful to talk with me not only catch up but also give me her condolences over the lost of my cat. That was sweet of her and she spent no ill will of being rude and only thinking of herself. She simply wanted to say she was sorry for my lost and catch up some which was nice. She was providing a mutual respect and sense of love that I admired in her.

People like that are people I will talk to. I will talk with them if they at some point care more about the person they are talking rather than what is on their own mind and need someone to confide in. I won't just answer anyone who wants to confide in me. There are a few people on my list who only care about confiding in me. Why me, I will never know.

Maybe they assume I am the good-natured person to accept anyones troubles and share it with them and be that shoulder to cry on. I am not going to do that 24/7. I am not going to consider everyone's feelings and act like I care. In some cases, maybe I side logically with the person they have an issue with. I won't just hear out the crybabies who only care about their side of the story. If they can't be logical and mature about something, I won't be a goody-goody two shoes and let them cry on my shoulder. I would much rather slap them in the face and tell them to grow up and to accept that these things happen and that if they are not responsible and mature about the matter then need a reality check. I'm sorry, but I am not going to sugarcoat their life for them simply so they can feel better about themselves. That is not the best way to handle issues or problems. I have learned that myself. So I am not going to make it seem like everyone is alright simply because I say it is. I am also not going to take their BS. It is just insane.

So, I am done with people like that. I may even delete them from my friendliest simply because I choose that people like that have no place my life and never will. If they want to grow up and be mature and prove it to me, then I may consider them but otherwise they are just children to me. I won't deal with people who still think they are teenagers with all of these personal issues on their shoulders and that the only person that matters with them is themselves. So, no thank you. I won't handle that shit anymore. Good day.